Jokes, Jokes, & More Jokes..!

Way To Annoy Peeps

101 Ways to annoy people - Get to know a friends bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
101 Ways to annoy people - Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
101 Ways to annoy people - Call other people "Champ" or "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
101 Ways to annoy people - Drum on every available surface.
101 Ways to annoy people - Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
101 Ways to annoy people - Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
101 Ways to annoy people - Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
101 Ways to annoy people - Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
101 Ways to annoy people - Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
101 Ways to annoy people - Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
101 Ways to annoy people - Insist on giving weather forecasts in public. Claim to be AMS certified.
101 Ways to annoy people - Surprise old friend's by visiting them at 3AM "to discuss old times".
101 Ways to annoy people - Insist on buying airplane tickets for friends to "save them money." Make sure the plane departs at 5AM and the tickets are non-refundable. Point out that you didn't really save them any money.
101 Ways to annoy people - Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
101 Ways to annoy people - Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
101 Ways to annoy people - Set alarms for random times.
101 Ways to annoy people - Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
101 Ways to annoy people - Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
101 Ways to annoy people - Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
101 Ways to annoy people - Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
101 Ways to annoy people - Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
101 Ways to annoy people - Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
101 Ways to annoy people - Honk and wave to strangers.
101 Ways to annoy people - Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Safety Orange.
101 Ways to annoy people - Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
101 Ways to annoy people - Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
101 Ways to annoy people - Wear your pants backwards.
101 Ways to annoy people - Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
101 Ways to annoy people - Begin all your sentences with "Oh la la!"
101 Ways to annoy people - Rouse your roommate/spouse from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".
101 Ways to annoy people - Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.
101 Ways to annoy people - ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
101 Ways to annoy people - dont use any punctuation
101 Ways to annoy people - Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
101 Ways to annoy people - Pay for your dinner with pennies.
101 Ways to annoy people - Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
101 Ways to annoy people - Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
101 Ways to annoy people - Write "X - Buried Treasure" in random spots on roadmaps.
101 Ways to annoy people - Explain to everyone you meet of your Kennedy assassination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
101 Ways to annoy people - Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
101 Ways to annoy people - Light road flares on a birthday cake.
101 Ways to annoy people - Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
101 Ways to annoy people - Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
101 Ways to annoy people - Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
101 Ways to annoy people - Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
101 Ways to annoy people - At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
101 Ways to annoy people - When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells..." until physically restrained.
101 Ways to annoy people - Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
101 Ways to annoy people - As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
101 Ways to annoy people - Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
101 Ways to annoy people - Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
101 Ways to annoy people - Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
101 Ways to annoy people - Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
101 Ways to annoy people - Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
101 Ways to annoy people - Why walk when you can drive that half a block?
101 Ways to annoy people - Name your dog "Dog".
101 Ways to annoy people - Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
101 Ways to annoy people - Ask people what gender they are.
101 Ways to annoy people - Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
101 Ways to annoy people - Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
101 Ways to annoy people - Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
101 Ways to annoy people - Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
101 Ways to annoy people - Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
101 Ways to annoy people - Sculpt your hedges into anatomically suggestive shapes.
101 Ways to annoy people - Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
101 Ways to annoy people - Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as the Mr Rogers theme song.
101 Ways to annoy people - While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
101 Ways to annoy people - Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
101 Ways to annoy people - Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
101 Ways to annoy people - Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
101 Ways to annoy people - Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
101 Ways to annoy people - Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
101 Ways to annoy people - Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
101 Ways to annoy people - Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
101 Ways to annoy people - Wear a lot of cologne.
101 Ways to annoy people - Ask people if you may "interface" with them.
101 Ways to annoy people - Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
101 Ways to annoy people - Sing along at the opera.
101 Ways to annoy people - Mow your lawn with scissors.
101 Ways to annoy people - Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy".
101 Ways to annoy people - Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
101 Ways to annoy people - Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
101 Ways to annoy people - Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
101 Ways to annoy people - Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
101 Ways to annoy people - Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see the "magic picture".
101 Ways to annoy people - Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
101 Ways to annoy people - Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
101 Ways to annoy people - Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
101 Ways to annoy people - Never make eye contact.
101 Ways to annoy people - Never break eye contact.
101 Ways to annoy people - Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
101 Ways to annoy people - Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
101 Ways to annoy people - Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
101 Ways to annoy people - Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
101 Ways to annoy people - Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
101 Ways to annoy people - Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101 Ways to annoy people - Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
101 Ways to annoy people - When asked to do things, repeat the instructions to the body parts involved. (ie. "Hand, will you please open the door.")
101 Ways to annoy people - When people ask you to do things, mutter under your breath, "This won't be neccessary where you are going."
101 Ways to annoy people - Wait until you get to work to shave.
101 Ways to annoy people - Tell small children that they don't look very promising.

More?

101 More Ways to Annoy People - Signal Left; Turn right.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Help fools part with their money.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Practice the art of limp handshakes.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Pay tolls with $50 bills.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Give little kids clothes for their birthday.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Talk with your hand over your mouth.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Fire people over the phone.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Wear jeans to a wedding.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Ask people what they paid for their clothes.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Don't sign your checks.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Rake leaves into your neighbor's yard.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Develop a convenient memory.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Remind people that their freckles could be cancerous.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Ask people how much they make.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Leave the concerts during a solo or before the clapping starts.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Leave price tags on presents.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Blow out other people's birthday candles.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Assume everyone agrees with you, but keep trying to convince them.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Pledge money that you won't send.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Reserve compliments for people who can do you some good.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Touch the paintings at museums.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Threaten lawsuits.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Gamble with rent money.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Tell people they are in your will even if they aren't.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - When giving directions leave out a turn or two.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Remind people who loose their job they probably should have worked harder.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - See what it takes to get the lifeguard to blow the whistle.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - If you have to give blood, at least make a show of it.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Tuck a twenty dollar bill or two in with your driver's license, so a trooper will get the hint.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Make jokes about terrorists at the boarding gate.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making reservations.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Don't do anything until you have been asked twice.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Tell people what you expect them to give you for your birthday.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Focus on winning and to hell with how you play the game.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Free cable TV is a shady electrician away.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Send smutty birthday cards to your inlaws.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Announce when you intend to go to the bathroom.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Borrow handkerchief's to blow your nose.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Curse at the umpire in a little league game.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - If you do something nice, make sure everyone knows about it.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Bribe kids, they are easy.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - At the polls suggest to other voters that they vote for your favorite canidate twice.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Lie to your therapist and sit in their chair.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Leave your shopping cart on line at the checkout, then go shopping.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Quote Adolf Hitler.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Tell teenagers how things were in your day.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Vividly describe a hysterectomy when the entree arrives.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Scrawl your signature on important documents.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Sit in the home team bleachers and cheer for the other team.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Make fun of men who cry.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Make up statistics to convince people when arguing.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Open gift checks at weddings and announce the amount.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Recommend untrustworthy auto mechanics.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Refuse collect calls from your family.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Alternately raise and lower your voice to make people question their hearing.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Be known for you sesquipedalianism.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Don't tell vegetarians about any meat in the food you prepare.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Call your friends during the SuperBowl to talk about your problems.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Tape record all of your phone conversations and play them back for friends.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Have a "Clergy on Call" sign made for your front windshield.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Dance fast to slow music and vice versa.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Don't stand during hymns and anthems.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Open the casket for "one last look".
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Get into heated arguments about the weather.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Whistle a happy tune - over and over.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Give out your friends' unlisted numbers.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Forget the punch line, but don't let that stop you from telling jokes.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Tell your blind that they aren't up to what you were told.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Make your kids stand at attention every morning.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Put a too cute message on your answering machine.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Support the death penalty... for parking violations.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Be ambiguous; It lets you work both sides of an issue.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Crash private meetings with a big smile on your face.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - When it says, "Reserved Parking," that means you.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Develop at least three strategies for cutting to the front of lines.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Give yourself a title like "Senator" or "Doctor" when making hotel reservations.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Jump into every photograph you can.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Ask your parents and grandparents how much they intend to leave you.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Withdraw "taxes" from your kid's piggy bank.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Serve fish with the head still attached.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Touch strangers.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Get up early and take your neighbors newspaper.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Complain about daylight savings time, long after the switch.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Feed the animals in the zoo, they especially like Crackerjacks.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Ask people how they are, but don't wait for a response.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Remind friends of stupid things they did ten years ago.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Cover your furniture in plastic and never clean it again.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Drive fast and as near the sidewalks as possible.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Ask if the present is returnable.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Say the coffee is decaf when it isn't.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Give distances in kilometers.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Tell everyone that they should be in therapy.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Flirt with a friend's spouse.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Keep asking, "Are we there yet?"
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Get light bulbs from the hall when you need them in your apartment.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Don't sign your greeting cards.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Make fun of all accents.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Always suspect an evil plot.
101 More Ways to Annoy People - Brush dandruff off of other people's shoulders.